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Harry looked over and saw Hermione’s hair looked a lot frizzier than he remembered and he was briefly reminded of his former best friend. “My memory is still a bit fuzzy.”
“Yeah,” Sirius agreed. “The healers said this might happen.”
Harry noticed Hermione wasn’t as confused as him, but she was staying quiet. “I remember… oh crud. I remember a nundu. And… and watermelons?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said, plopping down into the chair next to Harry’s bed, staying a safe distance away from Hermione. “Okay, listen. Since we’re all going to heal and be just fine, I can safely tell you that it was… hilarious.”
“My breasts are purple!” Hermione scolded.
“And I told you I’ll believe that when I see it,” Sirius shouted back. He gently added, “Please?”
Hermione harrumphed and went back to giving Sirius the cold shoulder.
“Maybe later then,” Sirius continued. “But I mean, have you ever seen those slow motion videos of a muggle standing in front of a cannon firing?”
Harry heard Hermione pout again and looked back at his godfather. “What?”
“Because it was just like that,” Sirius cheered. “The way Hermione’s body crumpled and her eyes bugged out when that watermelon came shooting out of the nundu’s mouth and slammed right into her stomach.”
Hermione was growling softly.
“And a little bit of her chest,” Sirius corrected. “Or so she claims.”
“I’m not showing you my tits,” Hermione snapped.
“That’s not what the Daily Prophet says,” Sirius playfully whispered to Harry.
“What?” Harry questioned. “I mean… what?”
“What did you say?” Hermione asked looking straight at Sirius.
“Nothing,” Sirius defended.
“You were supposed to bring the newspaper. Where is it?” Hermione demanded.
Sirius shook his head. “Not until you’re nicer to me.”
“Can you just tell me why…” Harry paused. “Hang on. You were jumping up and down on the nundu. That’s why the watermelon blasted out of the dead nundu’s mouth.”
“You know that’s one of those lines,” Sirius idly commented, “that may never have been uttered before in all history.”
A Black Comedy, Chapter 20
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