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Story Rating: 5 stars
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"So, now that we're off the subject of Kaji's ass as a stress toy," Misato says, half hanging off the chair, swirling about a cup of iridescent blue liquid, "Is it me, or does Sub Commander Fuyutsuki get a disproportionate amount of ass?"

"He's compensating," Yui slurs, one arm around Ritsuko's shoulders as Maya stares daggers, "He abuses his authority beautifully."

"I think he's slept with nearly every female staffer at NERV," Satsuki slurs, "Hey, Aoi! What regulation's that?"

"5728.91. If you ain't married, you're fair game."

"Kozou was my advisor in college," Yui says with a laugh, "The amount of emotional blackmail I have on him is staggering. And sometimes I think I'm the sole woman in NERV who hasn't slapped that leathery old ass. Am I?"

"He never hit on me," Maya says.

Aoi laughs.

"There's a reason for that, sweetie," she says, patting Maya on the shoulder.

"Moving on," Ritsuko says, "I'm pretty sure I'm gay, but am I the only one who wants to f___ Sohryu?"

"Please tell me you mean the Sub Director," Misato sighs.

"I wouldn't f___ Kyoko Sohryu with someone else's dick," Ritsuko slurs, "Of course I mean him."

"Well then," Yui says, raising her glass, "Were I not married or if Gendo was a complete and utter monster, I'm pretty sure I'd be sampling the German wares. Does take a certain type of man to knock an Angel unconscious with a door."

NGE: Nobody Dies, Chapter 30

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