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"…and over on the right, we have three very unique plants. The brown and gold bush produces a small amount of a reddish-gold liquid every day. That secretion is the best pain reducer we've ever discovered. Completely natural, you know, and not at all addictive. Wonderful stuff, really. The green and purple plants produce small fruits that taste of chocolate, imagine that, healthy fruit that tastes of delicious chocolate." Harry was quite enamored of the little fruits. "But it's that third plant that's truly remarkable. It's omnivorous, but it produces the most interesting fruit. Say we feed the plant a few pound of wheat, some eggs, a side of beef, and some apples. Well, the fruit would taste of Beef Wellington followed by flambéed apples. Truly remarkable…"

More than one student proceeded over toward the food tree. But it was Neville, clumsy Neville, who arrived first. Unfortunately, he managed to fall into the brown and gold bush, before the semi-sentient plant bounced him out of its branches, through the chocolate plants, and into the massive maw of the omnivorous fruit plant.

Neville shrieked for a second before a legion of Oompahs descended on him. They were trying to pull his inverted form from the hungry plants.

"…oh dear, poor, poor Bessie… Her fruit is going to taste absolutely horrible…"

But here Luna looked slightly concerned. Her face faded from dreamy for a second while she licked her lips and then said, "I think Neville tastes quite nice, actually."

"…Neville with chocolate… Oh, that won't do, unless we can figure out a way to sell it to the vampires… Maybe a special kind of blood pop for them, perhaps…"

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3551453/2/