"All right, now that we have that settled," Harry said. "What do we do with our guest while we're at school?"
"Why can't Kreacher take care of him?" Ron asked.
"He could, but he'll need some sort of instructions, I think. There's no telling what he'd do on his own."
"There's not much that needs to be done, really," Hermione said. "Feed him and keep him clean and quiet."
Harry scowled. "Yeah, well, I'm not sure I like the idea of feeding and caring for the Dark Torso. He's caused me nothing but grief. If I were a bit more sadistic, I'd order daily torture. Unfortunately, I can't justify doing that to someone who can't defend himself."
Hermione exhaled, unaware she'd actually been holding her breath.
"You know, Muggles sometimes study the criminally insane. Too bad we couldn't do something like that with him," Harry mused. "Handing him over to a lab for testing would be amusing."
Ron's eyes widened. "Ah, Harry? There might be something we can do."
"What do you have in mind?"
"The twins," the red head told him.
Hermione's brow furrowed. "What about them?"
Harry blinked several times, then grinned. "They're always looking for test subjects, aren't they?"
"Now wait a minute," Hermione began.
"Yes, they are," Ron replied, ignoring Hermione as she began to sputter. "And just think. The greatest Dark Lord of all time being reduced to a test subject for pranks and jokes? The darkest menace to our world, being responsible for product safety? Come on! What's not to like?"
Hermione opened her mouth, intent on blasting both boys into next year, but all that came out was a wheeze. When they looked at her oddly, she coughed to clear her throat and tried again. She giggled instead.
Ron grinned and looked at Harry. "She's in! So, what do you think?"
"I think there's something sightly twisted about you," Harry said, shaking his head. "It's morally wrong, bordering on contemptible, and quite probably illegal. But the only question I find myself able to ask is; how long do you think it would take the twins to get here?"