“Well, it’s a start, so let’s begin” the Princess gestured towards a nearby unicorn guard, the pony levitating a paper and quill in front of him “What is your name?”
“Nigel M Chalmers” Nigel replied, the pony scribbling down his answer. The Princess paused at this.
“And what, may I ask, does the M stand for?”
“Motherfucking” Nigel deadpanned, Celestia drawing back at the vulgarity
“Do I write that down?” questioned the guard
“That will not be needed Sergeant” Celestia responded before turning to face Nigel again “I’ll just leave it at ‘M’ for the time being, now, how did you breach our defences and infiltrate the city?”
“I fell from the sky out of a hole ripped in time and space that formed in my fridge”
The Sergeant once again stopped his notation “Do I put that down?”
Celestia sighed, “Yes Sergeant, from now on write down everything he says”
Nigel seized his opportunity.
“The Princess’s arse is as large as the sun, blotting out all light as it sways back and forth, its obscene size warping the very fabric of reality itself”
Silence reigned in the room, save for the scratching of the Sergeants quill. Every one of the ponies, including the Princess watched as he went about his task, documenting the sentence down to the very last letter.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/152832/2/cheesecake-and-changelings/baby-steps