"Look, until we admit that we're friends, I'm not telling Sasuke anything," Naruto said frankly. He paused, then grinned. "Even if he did say he wanted to fight me."
Sasuke groaned again. "Oh God…"
"What?" Itachi asked.
"Coming from Sasuke that's like a marriage proposal," Naruto explained.
"…Did you accept?" Itachi sounded curious despite himself.
"Nii-san!"
Naruto snorted. "Hell no! Sasuke can't date anyone until we all get older and more mature."
"Why not?" inquired Itachi. "I had a girlfriend when I was his age."
"And you killed her, so that's not a great example," Sasuke pointed out.
Itachi shrugged. "It was a messy break-up."
"To answer your question, Sasuke's fangirls would totally kill m-er, her."
"I've never had a problem with fangirl violence…neither did she, I think," Itachi remarked idly.
"The clan protected you two. Since you killed everyone and then cruelly abandoned me, I had to deal with it by myself!" Sasuke complained.
"Can we just fight now?" Kisame pleaded. "I want to mutilate someone! YOU got to fight earlier, why can't I?"
"Shut up, Kisame," Itachi said automatically. "The grown-ups are talking."