Misato simply stared at the stack of tree carcasses sitting on her desk over the Styrofoam. Sipping her third cup of coffee that morning stoically, like an interrogator would a suspect in between sessions.
From inside her jacket pocket she produced a black ink pen.
Click. Click. The bronze ball-tip gleamed in the artificial light like the blade of an Ancient Greek sword, much like the ones Alexander the Great himself would have used as he rode forth from Macedonia.
And so, the second day of the First Battle of the Triplicate was about to begin. For hours, the forces under the leadership of Lt. Colonel Katsuragi the Beautiful, Defender of the Pub from the Vile forces of Foreclosure, Deflowerer of That Nerd Guy At That Part At College After too much Beer and A Dare, did battle against the Dreaded Carbon Copy Dragoons of (checks the packaging) Nekomi-Asgard Office Supplies! The Dragoons clearly had the advantage in numbers in roughly one-and-a-half reams (or about seven-hundred and fifty pages) of paper to one pen, but the brilliant strategic mind of the most beautiful Lady of War in three Kingdoms (and an Empire) clearly knew how to defeat them.
The Horrifying Acquisitions Brigade were well known for their employ of the blasphemous wizards of the Order of Doldrums, who could cast spells upon their enemies to weaken their resolve to fight. There was no way to fight or counter the spell but to take them out first, and pray that the effects would be delayed enough to let the battle continue.
Next was the Polititorum Regimental. They were well-versed in the ancient art of bull shittery, the craft of distracting the enemy with big fancy words and extra long sentences when in reality they meant nothing. In fact, they just stood there as their enemies reaped through them like a blade would grass. The Sigil of Misato Katsuragi the Merciful and Fair, Testament of Human Will, She who Survived the Judgment of Antarctica, was marked upon them all.
But alas! Reinforcements! This time of the Budgetorial Berserkers! But lo! They too were devoured by the well-trained men of She Who Is Of Tight Figure, She Of Men's Dreams and Women's Ire! The battle was bloody. The battle was noble. The battle was…
No where near as interesting as it sounds.
It's just paperwork people.